as good as it gets

I am so amazed at how much you talk now and how well you thoughts are formed, still when you get aggitated you get perseverated in your speech and "the soundwaves" "the soundwaves are not good" have a whole new sadness to them. Tonight when we were visiting you said to me that "I think (pause) that this is as good as it will get" I truly hope that is a passing thought cause it is so painful to hear. It is good to think that you feel comfortable enough with me to express your sadness, something I wish we could have done a long long time ago. At any rate the hope is that this too will pass and that life just gets better and happier for you. You have me one of those half hearted laughs when I mentioned being happy. And I must say it is understandable for you have been through so much and yet have so much more to go through to rebuild your life, cause it is from this day forward, no looking back at what we do not have anymore or what we have to do again. Depression is a very real thing.
still you are a young man trapped-life is teaching you some very hard lessons and I have to share that is good to know that you feel that you have lessons to teach other people. Yes Ian you are a born teacher and have much to teach the world